@jojo @muppetbutler

scrap ALL of this. start with:

"i'ma execute a no knock warrant to get up in them guts. jk i'm not a cop. i ain't down with search and seizure, more about that church of leisure. preach!

i will expect you to order for me on the first date."

@muppetbutler @jackdaw_ruiz I will simply change my bio to say “My internet friends say I’m not allowed to write my own bio”

@jackdaw_ruiz @muppetbutler This shitty bio actually worked and got me a gf, if you can believe it. The world is unfairly biased towards those who don’t try.

@muppetbutler my current bio hasn’t been updated in 1 and a half years and it’s actually deplorable - I just want to talk shit with people on this though, so perhaps it’s fine

@jojo I would simply not have a bio and have a panic attack if anyone actually spoke to me

a child is a lot like a dog in certain ways, yet is very different in others. life is funny

WACK tinder bio Show more

@swirlz the tale of al, passed down from generation to generation through campfire stories

@ElfLord if you promise to stop the shitposts, I’ll help you overthrow the management

It may not look like it, but Mastodon definitely has its influencers

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For people who are constantly screaming into the void.